You Have a Cross(Mark 8:34-9:1)

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬(𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝟖:𝟑𝟒-𝟗:𝟏)

Contact: amazedandperplexed@gmail.com
Music by: Heavensense
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Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello, my name is Connor, and I'm Jason, and you're listening to the Amazed and Perplexed Podcast.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome back. We are excited to be with you, and we find ourselves in Mark chapter 8. Our last episode, you have the scandalous uh declaration by Jesus uh calling Peter Satan. Literally, it says he rebuked Peter. Get behind me, Satan. Um, and I love our processing of that. I think it's it's useful to recognize this happened, and you have the emotional energy there. I I can't tell you how Peter felt or and and it it also draws into question in verse 33 when it says Jesus turned and looked at his disciples and rebuked Peter, which would seem to me intent on, hey, I want everybody to hear this, and then the very next thing in verse 34 is then he called the crowd to him along with the disciples. So is the crowd hearing this? So it's very interesting to me to keep that in context of is Peter standing there red-faced? Are all the apostles going, Oh, I thought Peter was right? You know, I was looking up to Peter until that Satan word. And so um, yeah, I'm just curious where that puts you, where you'd encourage our head to be at looking at this discussion where he's going to talk about discipleship in a very specific way.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Yeah, no, that that's that's great framing. I don't necessarily have anything to add to that. I think it it's helpful to just put ourselves back in the perspective of somebody hearing this for the first time. We live 2,000 years post- you know, post-crucifixion, um, where the symbol of the cross has become the probably most dominant symbol in the entire world, if not, you know, if not the top, certainly one of the one of the most recognizable symbols. Um and because, and this is not anything anybody listening will be you know shocked to hear or be new necessarily, but I think it's important to remind ourselves that like our view of the cross is so sanitized to what it was and what it would what it would have uh emotions it would have um brought out in people hearing it and imagining it. Um this is not, hey, this could eventually be a good symbol for us, or hey, this is a this is a fun little teaching technique or or visualization of how I can help my like this is a gruesome reality that they would have been acquainted with, they would have seen dead bodies hanging on crosses, and they would have been afraid that their Roman oppressors um that if if they ran afoul of them um that that could be their own fate. And so because we live, you know, post-crucifixion and resurrection, and you know, we've become so accustomed to seeing the cross everywhere we go, um, it's just one of those things, not not even just thinking about you know, obviously Jesus' death on the cross, but also thinking about um people hearing this, how offensive, not even uh offensive, yes, but how like um wondering like do they even have the category for what the take if I told you, hey, take up whatever your favorite torture device is and come and follow me, you'd be like, excuse me? Excuse me? Right. What what is this your teaching? Yeah, yeah, no, I well, and it's especially to be like, hey, I'm gonna get a large group of people around and announce announce this new thing, or not announce this new thing, you know, teach this new teaching. Um, this would not be your like, you know, hey, you know what, we really want to get more people involved at church. Um we we we feel like God's calling us to grow as a church, and so we want more people to come to know Jesus. And so we're gonna start a sermon series on uh Chinese water torture or waterboarding, or you know, like and again, that's not what Jesus does here per se. But like, even if you're like, okay, well, at some point we gotta bring up an instrument of torture in this sermon series, like, let's just put in the back end, we'll put it in the third week here when we really cover that. Um, and so this is one of those really in-your-face moments where Jesus is now, and now that you you talked uh you touched on what we talked about last week, it is really fascinating that like this is the rebuke of Jesus is to the disciples, and then also this uh could be offensive call that uh Jesus is putting out there um to the crowd. Uh, there could be people in that crowd that know people that have been crucified. Um, and so they would have certainly been afraid and recognized what the cross was and could mean for them, but there also could have been people, real people who experienced um uh the brutality of it.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Yeah, I that is really, really good. I it just crossed my mind. Imagine the way you don't want to die. Whatever that is, drowning, set on fire, whatever it is. You know, I've thought about this a lot actually. Anyway, um, but but whatever that is, I think for the vast majority of people, this would be it to die in public, to die unfairly, to die by the hands of people that hate you. There is no legal recourse, there is no chance of pardon. I I just think, yeah, how repulsive, whatever that word, you know. Okay, I'm gonna start in verse 34. Then he, Jesus, called the crowd to him along with his disciples, and said, Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it. But whoever loset their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels. Now I'm going to go on to verse one of chapter nine. And he said to them, Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power. Now that last verse is a wrench in the like my mind was going one way, but I do think it's it's good to put those two together. So, as is our practice, uh what amazes you about what Jesus just said?

SPEAKER_02 5:55

The inversion um I've just uh we've read I've I've read the story uh hundreds of times, if not thousands. Um and again it can become so sanitary, and yet the inversion, the the nature of the upside down kingdom um that Jesus is both bringing and building by his own very words. I mean, it it it is it is truly amazing um to have somebody coming along and they're at the beginning of the forefront of a movement. Um they're saying a kingdom is like their arrival with their arrival, a new kingdom is here, and in that kingdom, you know, whoever wants to save their life, well, who wants to save everyone wants to save their life. Everyone wants to save their soul. Um, but forever whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life from me and for the gospel will save it. Um I just I think um there's so many times where like it it's so easy to get caught up in um a lot of the miraculous things that Jesus does. That Jesus will heal people, he will change the material lives, he will feed thousands, um, he will he will uh help the the blind see. Uh and like Jesus is coming and he is both marrying together the both physical realities of of when Jesus walks into the room, there is healing. Um there is a setting uh a setting that when Jesus walks in a room, there is healing, and there is the setting of setting things the way they were always supposed to be, and also this marriage of like, but also man, when you follow me, you have got to be willing. Um my path leads to sacrifice, leads to service, leads to pain, leads to suffering. And I think about like this is just one of those things that like as I as I think about my own life and where I see Jesus showing up, um, and how I talk to people about Jesus, it's really easy to focus on man, when when when you follow Jesus, this great thing will happen, and this great thing will happen, and this great thing will happen. Or I've also heard people that when you hey when you follow Jesus, people are gonna hate you and you're gonna be this lone warrior off in the wilderness, you know, fighting the good fight, um, and but God's gonna reward you. And yet Jesus comes along with with both both of these things. Um and so that it for me it's just sitting sitting with it in a in amazement um that this is both that this is also good news.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yeah, and and I mean we assume this from Jesus now, but uh what amazes me with this is that idea, and it it's it's encapsulated with what you said, but that idea of this is hard, hard stuff. Without this verse and and this concept that he shares in other places, would you know your soul was valuable? Uh you know, would you even think about your soul? Like my life, I think about all the time, you know. If you have any medical issues, you know, if you've ever been in a car and you're like, oh, I could have died there, you care about your life a lot. Even people that feel worthless, um, some of the best experiences for people that feel like I have no purpose is if you come to a space and you almost get killed, and all of a sudden you find, oh, I do value this, you know, but most people it's pretty easily accessible to think about your life and how you want to preserve it. Soul is a very different thing, it's a bit nebulous. Um, I grew up with people talking about, well, I sold my soul to the devil as you know, I'd I'd sell my soul to the devil to dot dot dot, you know. And I mean it's just so callous and casual, and you know, I I I don't I'm not saying preacher said it, but I'm saying it was in the culture I grew up in. And it just was this idea, what are we really talking about here? There have been a lot of of um physiological and and uh emotional studies that have been done even over the last 10 years about what what is real life, like from a medical vantage point, and I've seen stuff like that. But even to this day, it's it's a bit I have a soul. What does that exactly mean? But he really puts it in in terms that even if you don't understand it, it's like you need to you need to know that to gain what you really want, because when he talks about what is somebody gain the whole world, that's what you want today. You want the whole world. And unless you are actively submitting yourself to God, you want the whole world. I want the whole world. I I want to have enough money to get by, and maybe I'm more humble than the other whole world wanters. There you go. You know what I mean? But it sure, but still it's like I want to pay off my bills and I want to have nice things and I want good things for my people. I want the whole world. And I think it's important to own that. And Jesus' clarity is like, but do you understand you can't pursue both actively? You really can't. You can't preserve, I want the you can't pursue, I want the whole world and your soul simultaneously. There's a choice here, and he's putting it in this context. And I think the verse 38 in particular is super clarifying because he makes it so personal. If you're ashamed of me, because that's basically what Peter was saying unintentionally. Peter thought, I'm protecting you, and nobody says they're gonna die on a cross as if it's some kind of power move. Nobody says that, and it's like it's never gonna happen. And Jesus, like, no, you're really expressing shame about my message. It reminds me of 1 Corinthians, where it's like they're all trying to take Christian principles, but with human mechanisms, and are like, all right, I'm choosing my guy and I'm riding with Apollos, no, I'm with Cephas, you know, no, and and Paul comes along, it's like, that is so silly, but do you understand God chose the foolishness of the world, the stuff you would be ashamed of, to shame the wisdom of the world. And it's like it it's exactly what it said, the upside-down kingdom, but he makes it really um yeah, he he makes it really clear, even with so much I don't understand.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

You know, I I not really put this together until I was listening to you. And I I think in many ways, this is I mean, this is the most ancient of wisdom that Jesus is trying to impart here. I mean, this is like this is the garden in in a lot of ways. Um, the idea that um that I think Adam and Eve choose to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because they they want to gain, they want to gain the world, they want to gain what they feel like um that they want they want to gain the world. Um and when Satan confronts them and when he tempts them, ultimately what are they doing? They're they're ashamed of what God has told them, the truth of what he said. Yeah, um, and in the same way, like this is the pattern that keeps on on uh acting out. And you can almost wonder, like, is G is kind of like, guys, over and over and over again, we've we've we've talked about this, we've been through this, you've seen this over and over and over again. And again, even connecting himself and being like, hey, just so you know, like I am that same, like the same thing is gonna happen, and the same regret, and the same when you when you choose um when you choose the world over me, um, you see the knowledge, you see the consequences of um of what that looks like in your life and in the world at large. And I'm telling you, it's the exact same thing. Like me and the father, I I actually I'm not wondering, I'm like, is this one of those because like you know, listener, this might be boring for you, but like a lot of like biblical scholars will uh not as much now, but in the past would certainly try to argue that Jesus doesn't make as as many divine claims about himself. Um that that's just something that people will argue about, which again, uh of recent, I think that's a a less common thing that secular scholars scholars, scholars will argue. But now I'm wondering those like I feel this feels like a one of those situations where Jesus is like almost directly equating himself with um with the God of uh the God in the garden. Um and so one, that's just an intellectual pursuit that I'm like, oh that's kind of interesting. And also recognizing like, man, that like you said, this pattern is is is uh is all throughout my life. It's all throughout my life, and I am constantly um trying to choosing the world as opposed to um dying to myself and taking up my cross um and and my and and my soul not just surviving but thriving and being nourished. Um, because one of those things that I don't know if Jesus necessarily touches on it here, but this path that Jesus has laid that Jesus has laid out before this, and even lays out in this passage, like this is the path not just to keeping your soul, but to it thriving, for it to be the way it was always supposed to be, and even thrive to the point where even if there is physical harm to your body, um, that's it is still good because of how um how nourished and how uh alive your soul is um with being in line with what God wants for you.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Yeah, and what's interesting to me about all of this is the immediacy, excuse me, is the immediacy that Jesus places on it with chapter 9, verse 1. Um, and and this that was a game time decision for us. Should we include it? Should we not? So, hey, let's include it. But hearing this now, why is he saying this? He's saying this isn't a million years from now. Some of you will be alive when you see this. Now, whole nother thing to unpack what's he referencing. What are they gonna see? Because I don't think he's talking about what we talk in terms of the second coming. I think he's talking about his death, the coming of the Holy Spirit, the coming of that kingdom, you know, that came that way. But all that being said, he just said this isn't when we talk about do you want the world or do you want your soul? You know, and specifically where he says specifically where he says that part where uh uh uh I lost my passage when I went to one, went to nine. But when he says, whoever wants to be my disciple but deny himself, whoever wants to save their life will lose it, like what I think of is, oh yeah, when I die, physically die, and I say I'm giving this up for you, then I'll gain my life in eternity. And he's saying, Yes, that's something of what I'm talking about. But I'm also talking about, are you willing to die to yourself today? Because there's a part of me that says, Well, if everybody doesn't think like I think, or if I don't get what I deserve here, then that's a death I don't want to experience. And God's like, Will you go with me into that death then? Whatever it is you're scared of, can you let me lead you to that thing you're scared of? Scared of? And I think about this when I, you know, and whenever you go to a funeral of somebody, you're like, it wasn't fair to them. On what they were too young or it was too cruel or whatever it is, God's like, Yeah, I don't want you to die either. I didn't want them to die either. Um, this was created by separation and sin and all this, but will you be willing to let me lead you through that thing? And and that's the part that's very convicting. And I think when he says some of you will see this, it's like, see what? I mean, I would see the glory part, but see the hard part? See the death part? Because keep in mind, they still don't know this is gonna happen to Jesus. Even now, again, I don't know what the crowd heard of the conversation that the disciples heard, and then Jesus said, Did they hear Jesus say, get behind me, Satan to Peter? And he's like, hey, everybody, come here. And were they like, oh, there's gonna be some more shaming? But he's clearly contextualizing why he just confronted Peter. And I don't know how much they picked up on. But anyway, for our view, thousands of years later, it's like, I want to feel the immediacy of this. Am I willing to give up my life today, not just in some romantic notion of I died for the faith, but also getting cut off in traffic and experiencing disrespect and judgment and all those things.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Well, man, it is it is so we think often terms, especially when the word soul comes out, we think all about quantity of of a life. Right. Without without thinking about the quality of of life here, that when I uh choose the world, when I choose to not love my neighbor or to not love God, I I don't think about it as a as a wager or a um I I am when I when I choose to act in a sinful way, ultimately choosing uh things above God, what I'm doing, I'm doing well, there's a lot of things I'm doing, but as it pertains to the conversation today, I am willfully making a bargain to offer um offer my connection, and again, I'm not speaking, but uh in the moment, offering my connection to the source of all life, um, offering in the moment my um ability to recognize the goodness of what God is doing in a given moment. Um and and again, I think this is one of those things where it's it's really important. Um, like it's not like a shaming thing of like, oh, you know, what would happen if you died tonight? Would you, you know, would you meet meet Jesus? But it is it is a thing of like, man, right now you have like the spirit of God resides inside of you. Um and you know, just like just I would guess, listener, if you followed God for any amount of time, if you have spent um a day, if you spent a day really pursuing God, loving him, doing the healthy things that that followers of Jesus do, um, and and attempting to seek his will, you know the way your soul is nourished as opposed to if you spent a day in hedonism or selfishness or choosing the world. Um and again, this is not like an earn your salvation thing, but it's just a basic recognition of reality. Um and this is not a um a bargain that we have to make for 15, 20, 30 years when we die, um, but it's a marg it's a bargain, or it's not a bargain, it's a it's a for lack of a better term, it's a transaction that happens uh every second of every day.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yeah. And that fills it with value. I think that's really a precision assessment there of saying, do you recognize you're making this bargain, this choice, this trade-off, um, and it's not inconsequential. It doesn't lead to your damnation. That that's not even the point here. He's talking about do you recognize the power you have to choose? And it's really important. Because most of the time I choose the world, it's I'm not paying attention, I just want to mess with it, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

And he's saying, he and he's saying, you know, speak even speaking to us modern 21st century enlightened, you know, Americans with all of our great ideals, he's like, hey, don't you you you can recognize and see when you take up your cross, when you actually live selflessly, when you live um to love your neighbor and to love God with all of your heart, like you, you see, like that, like that is how your soul comes alive. Like you see that. And so the very instrument of like uh the very instrument of how we follow God, of taking up our cross and following him, is the same way that our soul comes alive. Um, and so like it's one of those like instant activations where I don't know how many times in my life I've had like a really just awful day, and I've come to realize like I've just been, I've been in, I've been a selfish SOB today. And then I make choices after that to put others above myself, and it's like, oh wow, in the same day, like same day I was completely miserable because I was making choices all around me, and then at and then I decided, hey, you know what? Actually, maybe I won't do that, and my soul, my soul came alive. And it's like materially I didn't get what I wanted the first half of the day, but the second half of the day I was I was I was more alive than I was the first.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

I I totally relate to that. I'm gonna jump into uh perplexion. Um man, there's several things that pop into my head. Uh I guess I'll go with uh with the nine chapter nine verse one passage. Some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power. So and I guess in one way he is he is making it immediate. He's saying uh that what I'm talking about is not the end of the world. You know this taps into that dynamic, though. It's like I need six more paragraphs to to figure out what it is. I've got some assumptions, uh, they will see the kingdom of God in the sense that the Holy Spirit in Acts 1 or Acts 2 just really lays into them. Yeah, like it's not like the apostles are there going, we can't wait for the Spirit. Like they are not tracking what Jesus talked to them about in John, you know, 15, 16, 17, where it's like, Hey, I'm gonna send this advocate and the Spirit, the Holy Spirit. They're like, uh huh, uh huh. Like, you don't know what you don't know, you know. And so when it hits them, It's not like their cleverly plan is their clever their clever plan is coming together. Um, and so the kingdom of God is here. But it is it's interesting, I guess. To me, I'm like, there's clearer ways to talk about this. That's it. That that's really what I want. I want more clarity. I don't want like if I'm sitting there, I want him to say, This is what I mean. And and there's tons of passages that are like this, you know, and in uh you know, where Luke 23 we're saying a man will be on the roof, and a man, you know, it's like just what and and maybe in their culture it hit them with more clarity, but it but it's just like when I'm talking to people, I want to them to I want to build confidence in them about God and God's plan for them and the surety that that yes, we don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, but we do know you're a son of the most high God, and he puts you here specifically in this generation. Here's what there's some things to expect. And it's almost like when you were saying earlier, it's like, oh, you're now with Christ, and you're gonna know peace and love and joy, or you're now with Christ, you're gonna take a beating from the devil. And both are true, but to me, there's like, okay, that frames what I expect. This, I don't know what to do with it exactly. You know, and and that's the part, and and I understand it, it's it's bigger than there. This comes up a lot, and I probably, if I were to go through everything that's ever perplexed me on this, on this uh podcast, this is the one I return to the most. Is that you have a chance here to say, look, I called Peter Satan for this, and then I said this for that. And now I'm saying some of you will be alive to see this glory, which I would think that most of them would think the glory of God is coming back and giving them a kingdom again. You know, like I don't think they hear kingdom of God and not think David and Solomon, and you know what I mean? I I don't think they do that. This is why they still the apostles themselves still have the question when he's about to ascend into heaven, they're like, hey, is this the kingdom time? And he still doesn't make it clear to them. And I don't even know when they woke up and said, Oh, we're part of the kingdom right now.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

You know, I just don't know. But it it's that lack of clarity when it's right there to me that always it's confusing to me.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Oh, yeah. And I'll I'll echo your echo your perplexion completely. I always live to imagine. I mean, there's so many points where like you wonder like the people who hear this later on when they think, like, oh, Jesus crucified, uh and he's we hear he's resurrected. Oh, okay, here's exactly uh wait, I don't know. Did that does that line up exactly with what he's saying? It's kingdom here. I don't look like any kingdom that I'm really familiar with, or oh wait, suddenly the Holy Spirit's here, and there's all this crazy well, maybe that's it. I don't know. Actually, there's still a lot of oppression, and there doesn't look like any political entity that I'm aware of, and then okay, I've been waiting decades, and wait, now there's the destruction of the temple, and oh wow, the we're kicking out Rome, and then oh wait, like, and I I am just I'm perplexed. I'm both I'm I'm always perplexed by this dynamic um at play and these sort of statements um that Jesus makes. Um, and I think I I think this is one of those things that I think they probably were people hearing this were also similarly perplexed of always wanting that um that clear uh concise messaging from Jesus on on this sort of issue. Um and yet it's one of the very few issues where Jesus says, heck, even I don't even know this. You know, when Jesus talks about his second, when he does speak about his second coming, he's like, I'm you know, even I either that's uh that's for God, that's for the Father. Um and so this is just one of those things for me that I've had to come to. And again, I could I could list I think there's like a few two to three possibilities that jump to my mind of what exactly he he's he's speaking about, and I could give my reasoning for that. And yet it doesn't account for all the facts on the ground as I understand them. Um and it's like okay, well, it's very confusing for me now. I have to imagine it was probably even more confusing for them back then. Um, and like they still chose to keep trusting and keep following. Um, and so like there's there's some good encouragement there for me.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah, and I definitely hear that while you were talking, I was like, Yeah, what is it I want? You know, what is it I want now? And I and I'm like, had I been in that crowd, I think I would have wanted the same thing. I can hear Jesus say Rome's gonna win. Because being resurrected on the third day, it's like white. I don't have any shelf to put that on in my brain at that point, you know? So Rome's gonna win again. And the people that are saying we're not gonna let Rome win, you're calling them Satan. I don't know how they could hear it different. I mean, there might have been a super spiritually tuned in person, but I I think it's unfair for us to expect that of them. Well, what do I want? I'll tell you what I want. I want people that abuse power to be immediately judged and immediately pay the price. I want innocence to stop dying. I want there there to be censical ways to treat each other well. I want all of that. And I can't imagine that I, with all my luxury and privilege right now, want that more than what they wanted it. I just can't imagine. This is the part sometimes where they're amazed. I'm like, why are you amazed? Why aren't you saying we get it? And yet, do you know that this is suffering? You know what I mean? And that's the part that I just don't think he says kingdom, and and I I'd say you agree. I'm not I'm not arguing with anybody, I'm just like processing this on my own, in my own. So I ultimately I'm saying, Jesus, why are you throwing around terms like kingdom knowing that all they think of is oh, Rome's gonna end, and then you had a guy just stand up for you and say, we won't let Rome win. He's like, now they're gonna win. And and he sees it, but they don't, even as he shares it. So that that that's probably what's really nagging in the back of my mind is I accept the fact we live in a fallen world, I accept the this world is not my home, I accept all of it. But if Jesus is right in front of me, I'm like, Can't you a little make sense of this? And I guess that's the part that I don't know, it it agitates me.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

This isn't necessarily speak to this passage or anything you you said, and I know we gotta wrap up here in a moment. Um, but simply I I I I always just want to own this when I when I come into contact with this sort of feeling. Jesus, from the beginning of his ministry until his death, is misunderstood by his best friends, um, by his by his his students, by the crowds, by Rome itself, by the the religion, like all they all think like I I I don't know. It actually made this would be an interesting way to track through the gospels. Like, is there anybody that's like fully like recognizes when he says kingdom what he is preaching about? But Jesus dies for this, I don't want to say misunderstanding, because I do think the kingdom of God, uh I do think the kingdom of God is a threat to Rome, and I think the kingdom of God is a threat to all uh to all current countries and in empires throughout history, um and yet not in a threat uh to the not in a threat, immediate threat in the way that Rome takes it, uh the Sanhedrin takes it, the threat that the disciples hope it hope it hope it is. Um and just man as a human, as a as a person, what it would feel like to be Jesus, um just repeatedly just not being seen and understood, um, and the sort of weight that would be. Um again, I don't have like a point to draw from it. Um, but man, if you ever felt like I just feel like I can't communicate this idea, or like there's just some base thing about me that that I can't I can't even put words to words. I can't help people people just don't see it in me, or I just I just don't understand how people are not getting this concept. It's like man, Jesus not only did he live his entire life with that, but he was put to death for it. Um and so like all of these things, the maybe the call for me in these sort of moments is like all of these things, Jesus is having to put um his person the way he feels about this. Um his I'm sure Jesus desired Jesus wants to be understood, Jesus wants to be heard, um, and yet uh that is not that that's not the priority. And so I I I do have a perplexion, but we'll we'll stop it there um to honor uh honor Jason's time. And you know, nobody needs to hear my voice for too many minutes because it's okay. Grace, peace, and love.